writing nothing.

what's up guys. i'm back! aw my, look at this.
like my once a month blog is getting to be once a year blog.
lol. don't be doubt like hey nap, where the hell have you been?
there's nothing wrong. i just gave myself a time to think.

uhuh, these days i didn't write any new things at all.
even on hi5, facebook, blog, youtube, well yeah, everything.
all i've updated via web are just the facebook and hi5 status,
they're only a few simple words or the lyrics of good meaning songs.

you know i wanted to write, and i still wanna write,
but i just truly have no idea what i really wanna write about.
so that's the reason why this entry has published. lol.
write thought don't know what to write. sounds crazy, but yes.
because of that, then i called this entry 'writing nothing'.

the entry's topic, i named it after i finished all the writing.
first, i started this by unknowing what i should name it.
cause it's absolutely nothing here. lol.
so if i write nothing, the match topic must be nothing for simply.

okay, enough. let's get back to the main.
i'm not sure that it cause i have so many things in my day,
or indeed i have nothing comes to change my life tremendously.

sometimes i feel like a curve that ups and downs all the time.
but sometimes seems my emotion likes a line.
a line, straight and constant, like this -------- (seriously)
yes, looks weird. i don't know how to explain it to be more clear.
but i think you might get what i mean, don't you?

generally, i'm doing fine. everything's going better for me.
i've already had a brighter smile, you see.
but like a little piece of me says that there's something strange inside.
i guess now i'm pretty dull. can't think of anything.
it's a deep feeling that can make me feel a little bit freak.

sometimes i'm so irritable and annoying.
i write and delete, then try to write one more time by different word,
but i found that it's still not work, so i delete it again.
you know it's driving me crazy. like there's something worries me.
it's kinda insane and i don't know how to manage it right.
well, infact it's not as much as i said, but close.

there's so many undone writings of me.
i started the writing and don't know how to continued, so i stopped.

remember this? i used to post it on my facebook status someday.
not so long, just about um, a few months ago.
thought i'll write this as my new entry but i didn't cause it's not done yet.
i do love it, and so much deplored that i can't make it through.

so i hope you wouldn't mind if i post it in the end of this page.
think that it's such a goodbye special gift from me :)

" is art what art is?
most people say art without knowing the truly meaning.
saying art is art, and always be just art.
but for me, art is something more than that, something special.
art is feeling. art is emotion. art is soul.
art is not only colour on the paper.

i believe that every picture has its own meaning.
even though every line. every detail. every stroke. every light.
all it shows you right before your eyes but you've never known,
just because you never even try to look at it more deeply."