youtube stucker.

hi guys. it's been a long time i didn't update this blog.
miss me right? you: hell no. me: cry.
um, the last entry is on 29th aug, and now is 9th oct already.
aow, almost two months passed. isn't it too fast?

can't believe that all the time of my life is 70% stucking on youtube.
that sounds a lot, i think it's a lot.
all day all night sitting in front of the comp checking new cool videos out,
comment, thumbs up, vote up, like, subscribe, and share them.
i know most of you, readers, you also do like me. don't be denied.

so what's your favorite thing to watch out?
for me, i love watching people with guitar doing their cover,
some funny clips, and some cooking tips. oh and yes, the song too.

shane dawson, brittani louise taylor, mystery guitar man,
david choi, joseph vincent, and many more, they're my fav youtubers.
and don't forget vevo, though it sucks but it's still fully, lol.

is there anyone know who the hell is vevo? or who created vevo?
(it's not a joke. i really ask you)

alright, now i'm gonna show you my top ten fav videos from youtube.
the 1st one, i found it incidentally yesterday, by my side - devid choi.
the rhythm's so sweet, and the lyrics are too. i do love this song.
he's an amazing singer and songwriter, you all know that.

2nd and 3rd, replay - iyaz (cover by joseph vincent)
and fuck you - cee lo green (cover by joseph vincent)
they both are two of my most favorite jv videos. his voice is so smooth.
i love how he did it his way and it's so much better in my throught.
plus with, yes you know that, he's super hot!
i used to post like i wanna kiss you vincent. marry me, marry me.
and there's a ton of girls click vote up on my comment, hah.

you know i really love when someone click like on my post.
it means like, hey it's not only me that think like this.
it feels so good when you see how many people agree with you :)

continued by the 4th, everything is gonna be okay - brittani taylor.
normally we usually see blt always make kinda funny video,
but this one is different, it means a lot. really nice meaning in every word.
it makes me wanna make tomorrow better than today,
and make next tomorrow better than other days that has passed,
cause even tomorrow still has next and next tomorrow, right?

5th, it must be shane dawson. emo break up (sex, lies & guyliner)
it's the shane's video that i watch it again and again most often of all.
but i'm just a little bit pity that he didn't put shanaynay into his scipt.
shanaynay is my favorite shane's character. what about yours?

6th, raindrops keep falling on my head - japanese girl version.
i don't know who sings this song but it's just so great.
the original song was my ringtone for a long time untill it made me sick.
but when i heard this tune i was like wow, and can't stop listening to it.
i love it as much as the original. um, maybe a little bit more.

7th, i really don't want you to miss it.
the last little dinosaur - will one hundred percent.
and this one is cool too. 8th, the secret life - will
all of his songs are so really deep. but the two links up there are my fav.
they made me almost cry when i watched them for the first time.

when i first saw, just saw it, i was like huh what the heck?
i thought it was nonsense, thought it was just a crazy vid from crazy man.
but when i continued listening to it, started to deliberately watch it,
i was like aw my, this guy is so incredible! his throught's so deep.

i don't know how to explain my feeling when i listen to his song.
you probably should listen to it yourself,
and don't forget to tell me back, what your feeling about this guy is :)
i really mean it, this guy is so @#$%&! seriously, lol.

9th, looping around - mystery guitar man.
i gotta say that this man, joe penna is a genious, he totally is!
look at what and how he did, they all are awesome and unique.

there's some videos of him that he took his sunglasses out,
his eyes was so creepy, i guess it maybe cause he didn't sleep.
one thing i wanna tell him is, you should take some rest.

and the last, our 10th is a song. understand - joss stone.
that impressed me. i do love her voice and this kind of song,
mostly like pop but include with a little bit sound of blues and jazz.
she reminds me of pink, anyone agree?

done. you know i really enjoy writing this entry.
i'd never write anything about sharing like this in my blog before.
usually that i do is just posting a link on my facebook wall.
yes, i know there's not many people give a real interested on it.
and it's so nice to gather it all in one page,
cause when you post on another website, they scattered there and there.

well, it's been a pleasure to share these to you all, bloggers.
i just hope you like and enjoy all of them like i do :)
yes, yes and yes, sharing is good!

aw, it's almost 4 a.m. already. like it's time for me to go.
see you again um, maybe next month i guess. byebye, love you all.
ps.1 let's tell and share me about your favorite thing to watch!
ps.2 so bad that here's no like tab to click :P

the best 4 months.

29th august, 2010 at 1.51 a.m.
this time, we've been together for 4 months.

time goes so fast, really fast.
like it's not exactly long, but it's been the best 4 months of my life :)
every single minute staying with you make me feel special.
thanks for spending time with me ang giving me the best best moment.

i love you not for only who you are,
but for who i am when i'm with you.

i love the way you talk, i love the way you laugh, i love the way you are.
you're the one who can make my world goes round like it should be.
you're making me smile. you're making me fine.
today is better than yesterday all because of you, only you.

couldn't, could't imagine how life will going through without you.
cause you make my day eveyday :)

please make it goes along as long as we could.
i don't wanna use the word forever cause it sounds not real.
but indeed i hope so :) could we?

next month, next two months, next three months, next year and next next year,
you'll always have me right here by your side,
no matter what tomorrow gonna be is, i'm here, i'm always here :D

you don't have to do anything. just being near by my side,
standing next to me, holding my hand without saying any words.
that's enough for me if only you're here.

i wish there were many more ways to say how much i need you.
so many memories between us, and they all are good and unforgettable.
every little thing you do, it's so much improtant to me.

well, thought i rarely say i love you, but i know that you've already known.
as michael buble said, you're every minute of my everyday :)



naprakpmagna rakmakmakduai ♥

writing nothing.

what's up guys. i'm back! aw my, look at this.
like my once a month blog is getting to be once a year blog.
lol. don't be doubt like hey nap, where the hell have you been?
there's nothing wrong. i just gave myself a time to think.

uhuh, these days i didn't write any new things at all.
even on hi5, facebook, blog, youtube, well yeah, everything.
all i've updated via web are just the facebook and hi5 status,
they're only a few simple words or the lyrics of good meaning songs.

you know i wanted to write, and i still wanna write,
but i just truly have no idea what i really wanna write about.
so that's the reason why this entry has published. lol.
write thought don't know what to write. sounds crazy, but yes.
because of that, then i called this entry 'writing nothing'.

the entry's topic, i named it after i finished all the writing.
first, i started this by unknowing what i should name it.
cause it's absolutely nothing here. lol.
so if i write nothing, the match topic must be nothing for simply.

okay, enough. let's get back to the main.
i'm not sure that it cause i have so many things in my day,
or indeed i have nothing comes to change my life tremendously.

sometimes i feel like a curve that ups and downs all the time.
but sometimes seems my emotion likes a line.
a line, straight and constant, like this -------- (seriously)
yes, looks weird. i don't know how to explain it to be more clear.
but i think you might get what i mean, don't you?

generally, i'm doing fine. everything's going better for me.
i've already had a brighter smile, you see.
but like a little piece of me says that there's something strange inside.
i guess now i'm pretty dull. can't think of anything.
it's a deep feeling that can make me feel a little bit freak.

sometimes i'm so irritable and annoying.
i write and delete, then try to write one more time by different word,
but i found that it's still not work, so i delete it again.
you know it's driving me crazy. like there's something worries me.
it's kinda insane and i don't know how to manage it right.
well, infact it's not as much as i said, but close.

there's so many undone writings of me.
i started the writing and don't know how to continued, so i stopped.

remember this? i used to post it on my facebook status someday.
not so long, just about um, a few months ago.
thought i'll write this as my new entry but i didn't cause it's not done yet.
i do love it, and so much deplored that i can't make it through.

so i hope you wouldn't mind if i post it in the end of this page.
think that it's such a goodbye special gift from me :)

" is art what art is?
most people say art without knowing the truly meaning.
saying art is art, and always be just art.
but for me, art is something more than that, something special.
art is feeling. art is emotion. art is soul.
art is not only colour on the paper.

i believe that every picture has its own meaning.
even though every line. every detail. every stroke. every light.
all it shows you right before your eyes but you've never known,
just because you never even try to look at it more deeply."

mirror tales.

um. i don't know how to explain this feeling.
i think it's like that time. that time, when i was young.

don't know where to go and have no idea what i should do.
what's future gonna be? better or worse?
or will it be just the same as another boring days?

feel so blue and my dark side's starting to come out right.
look at myself in a mirror and ask, who's that?
where is me? where is the real me?
where is the person who can smile though thing goes bad?
now it's gone, and left a crying little girl behind.

back to the main. you know what i mean.
talking about crying girl that appears on the transparent mirror.
some may say she's strong. some may say she can stand on her own.
some may say she can still be happy even whatever happens.

but you know, sometimes she is so tired, tired to fake.
fake to smile though her deep down is crying.
fake to say i'm fine when someone asks her how are you.
and fake to act like it goes naturally though by the truth it isn't.

and you know, it doesn't call strong, it calls weak.
because she doesn't dare even show the way she truly feels inside,
or even though let someone knows the real her.
she's afraid of everything. scared of everything. yes, weak.

she knows well, she doesn't have to be like this.
but like she just doesn't want somebody else worries about her.
even she's dying but if it can make you feel better she will say i'm okay.
just that. it's the one reason why she does.

but wait and think,
some may, me that you have known, it maybe not me,
but me that i'm talking about, that i say it's not me,
in the other hand, it maybe the real me.
mean what? mean you've never ever known who i really am.
and you know, some may, all me that you see,
it's just a crazy thing i did to make you think that it's me.

indeed i'm probably not like what you think.
as i said, that crying little girl, she maybe the real me.
and me that you all know.. is just a puppetry.

get up and look at the mirror again. look in her eyes deeply.
she's gonna give you a brighter smile and says,
everything doesn't have to be like what it seems to be :)

what if it's gone?

you know, it makes me feel weird,
when i see some couple holding each other's hands,
kissing while walking in a park.
some might say it calls jealous, but i just don't know.

usually i should happy for them,
but like my deep down side has so many questions.

seriously, do you think everything you see in this time,
will still be with you forever?
no, the answer is no. nothing in this world can live on forever.
i believe that if something can grow up in your heart,
some day it can die too.

today you may love. today you may have everything you want.
but you don't know the future. you don't know at all.
what is tomorrow? what if it's gone? could you stand on it?

not me, not me. actually i can't.
i can't stand here watching things i love fade out and die away.
i don't know but i, i think i'm so sensitive. if i feel love, i'll love so much,
and almost die when it says goodbye to me too.

one song of the eagles says that love will keep us alive,
but what if it's not same as the lyrics?
real life hasn't have to be like what you dream about at all.

who knows? someday the love that used to keep you alive,
it may make you kinda dead too.
dead by your side, dead without anyone near you.
dead with your own tears. cry, cry and cry with yourself,
and then you go to ask your deep down side again,
huh, why did i love?

do you love though you already know,
that in the last it will leave you behind the teardrops?
is that the way love supposed to be?

so many times, i ask myself again and again, love.. for what?
do you really want love if it still hurt your feeling a lot?
the old me said yes, but now.. i say no.

i look at the one i lost and laugh for the way i was.
there's no one to blame accept me and myself. what did i take away?
now, there's nothing i can hold. no real tears to cry.
cause i just can't breath life back into lie.

i'm sad enough, i'm pathetic enough,
and i lost my tears for this shit thing enough.

if love keeps on hurting me, i choose to be alone as always,
instead of having someone comes to my life,
and makes me cry like a child :)

valentine memories.

welcome to my once a month writing blog. lol
i have a lot of things to say but i have no freetime to write it all
well, sorry if i made you wait too long :)

yeah, valentine's coming.
some special memories are coming back too.

to you, the only one i love.

when i look back and see everything is not the same,
it makes me think about the moments we had together.
the sweetest kiss you gave. the word i love you i used to hear.
the word of goodbye you said, and the broken heart i have.
so weird that it can make me smile while i sad.

2214VD could you still remember this word?
10.14 p.m. on valentine's day, 2008.
same day, same time, but two years passed.

how are you? have you been alright?
could you remember me? could you remember who loves you most?
when you're tired, is there anybody cheer you up?
when you're feeling blue, is there anybody hold your hand?
is there anybody love you like i do?

i used to hope that someday i may have you back again,
but yeah, i know that it can't be true too.
cause you've told that you don't love me anymore.
and i know, even though i show the way i truly feel inside,
you won't come back anyway.

there's no you around here anymore.
everything we had maybe gone but it will never be forgotten.

the rose you gave me on valentine's day, now it's still here.
it makes me happy everytime i pick it up.
although it's just the simple one dead flower.
the puppy doll you gave me on my birthday, it's still here too.
i hold it every night before i sleep,
cause it is the one thing that can make me feel that you never leave.
although it's just the simple old doll.

i remember every breath you take, every move you make,
every word you say, every day you stay.
can't you see? you're so much important to me.
whatever i do, wherever i go, whoever i meet,
there's only your pictures in my head,
and however i try, i do remember, cause i just can't forget you.

time may take us apart. that's true, but i will always be there for you.
you're in my heart and you'll be in my dreams,
no matter how many miles between.
i promise you that i won't forget the day we kissed or the day we met.
the sky may fall and the stars may too. but i will still love you.

like i always write something like this every year,
every valentine's day,
cause everything inside never comes out right.

you don't have to love me back, i'm happy just loving you.
you will always be the one i love. the one i'm thinking of.
and the one who can make my world go round.

without you near me, there's no meaning at all.
i miss you so bad.

new year comes again.

looking back on the months gone by,
as a new year starts and an old one ends.

when the clock strikes twelve on december 31st,
i was like, omg, is new year really coming? is this year really gone?
these years have gone so fast, don't you think?

sometimes i don't wanna let a clock passes my time away.
i want all of my good memories live on forever.
but when i rethink, i can keep it mine some longer if i wanna do.
no one can take it away from me.
no one is able to edit or delete things on my mind also.
so yeah, that's the way i think that i shouldn't afraid anymore,
because now i'm already know, it won't disappear.

but um, you know everything always has two sides.
for me there's only black and white, no gray.
right, i'm talking about some bad memories.
i don't understand why it never comes out.
however i try to forget and don't let it keeps on in my life.
seems like it always follows me wherever i go.

so bad but yeah, how should i do?
just let it be as a lesson. that's all. nothing more.
it was bugging me, but now i won't let it brings me down.
thanks everything that makes me understand more about myself.
i think now i'm almost ready to start again.
okay, new year, new life, new nap! let's do it!

well, i have one of my favorite quote to you. i love it so much.

"Dream what you want to dream.
go where you want to go.
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life and one chance
to do all the things you want to do."

yes, happy new year everyone!
(although it's late about one day and three hours. hahah)
may this new year brings newly found prosperity,
love, happiness and delight in your life.
and though time goes by,
i wish you all will always be what you really are.
you know you are the best yourself.
good luck guys!

little pieces of me.

it's almost morning. just the same boring night.
i hate when i behave in this way, i know how much i'm annoying, sorry.

well it's hard to say something right now.
you know what, like everyday for me goes on by nothing.
i don't know who i live for, what i live for.
like i used to see everything more clearly, but yeah, not now.
i was like aw, what the hell's going on around here?
can anybody help me? can anybody understand what i really am?

i feel like just lost somebody who means to me so much.
jumble. drift. stagnant. discouraged. blah blah.
don't know how to make it better.
um seems like i always be like this when i fall.
nah, weak, right?

so many times, i think that maybe it's better when i'm going away.
run and run as fast as i can to somewhere else.
so weird but yeah. like i don't know anything about myself at all.

so really bored about people who lives life as a dog.
all they can do is just barking and biting everyone if they don't like.
i don't know why did i care, why i have to care.
you know it's really hard to carry on,
when something comes to me over and over again repeatedly,
and like it's harder everytime it comes.
that's too much for me. so sucks, really.

well, i just listened one song and love its meaning.
probably - fool's garden

you don't know, what they will say.
you probably have to do it your own way.
you don't know, what they will see.
absolutely nothing - probably.
you don't know, what they will do.
no one ever knows, you don't know too.
you don't know, what they will say.
you probably don't need another way.

thanks guys, your song makes me feel better and so much happier.
that was right. why do i have to be something am not?
come on nap, whatever they say you don't have to care.
don't let it means to your life anymore. go on, go on. it doesn't matter.